How?! How can you make the best of something like this... [It comes out almost instantly. His voice raised but his anger and frustration aren't aimed at Otonashi. It's more like he's trying to yell at the Malnosso, where ever they may be.

Fucking tears. This time he brings both hands to his face in a desperate attempt to wipe them all away so he can see and so Otonashi won't see them. Why is it that Otonashi can always somehow bring out this weak side of him? He hates it so damn much but he can't help but surrender to it. For a minute, he just stands there, rubbing his eyes before speaking again since the words aren't stuck in his throat anymore.]

That day, graduation. I thought--I thought I would never see you again. I didn't want to go but I knew we had no choice! [He takes a deep breath] So... I just invisioned you living the second life you deserved to be able to make myself let go. I knew you would be happy where ever you ended up.

[He pauses]

This isn't what I invisioned... the second life you deserve isn't that of some lab rat!! [His gaze at the ground the whole time]